How invalidating another person affected communication
I learnt the hard way what Asperger Syndrome was.” Asperger´s Syndrome (AS) is one of the autism spectrum disorders.Affected individuals display considerably impaired capacity for social interaction and communication.Why should you know how to spot a man who has Asperger’s Syndrome? Yet, autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), which include Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), are all about communication challenges and lack of emotional understanding.People with Asperger’s syndrome do not possess “Theory of Mind” abilities, which means they aren’t able to recognize and understand the thoughts, beliefs, desires and intentions of other people in order to make sense of their behavior.It’s an act, one they feel they must put on to win you. “The person with Asperger’s Syndrome may have developed a superficial expertise in romance and dating from careful observation, and by mimicking actors and using the script from television programs and films…Some partners have explained that they never saw the real person before they were married, and after their wedding day, the person abandoned the persona that was previously so attractive.”“We dated for a year, a period of time that, in some ways, felt like a twelve-month-long audition. We got engaged, and still I did everything I could to impress her, because, as I understood it, that’s what a person did when they landed themselves a fiancée.And it’s all making me sick.” As individuals with AS age, most develop a wide variety of coping skills and discover ways to mask their behavioral traits so that under many circumstances they can “pass for normal.” You must be very astute to pick up on clues of AS in the beginning of a relationship. Find a healthy and well functioning partner or live with a dog.
They learn exactly what they should do and say in a romantic relationship, since none of it comes naturally to them.
Many men with AS are unaware they have the disorder, and in that case it’s far easier to spot. Enduring repetitive verbal abuse and witnessing adult tantrums has become a routine event. He denies to this day that he has done anything wrong…
With that said, here are the signs: have lived with an AS spouse for 14 years. AS individuals learn coping behaviors that allow them to “act” their way through social situations and personal intimacy, but that they don’t actually invest any feelings or emotions in them. He is a high-achieving professional but lacked the capacity to understanding that his actions and words were deeply damaging.
(Myths and Truths) Asperger Syndrome is demonstrated by deficits in communication, social skills and reciprocity of feelings.
The person with AS is unaware of what their loved ones think or feel, and even when told, he can only see things from his point of view.People involved in relationships with a mindblind partner report feeling invalidated, unsupported, unheard, unknown and uncared for.They suffer from severe, ongoing emotional deprivation that results in depression, loneliness, anger, low self-esteem, emotional breakdown, PTSD and physical illness.If someone told me they had Asperger’s now, I would run in the opposite direction.” ‘m 12 months out from a 9 month marriage to a man diagnosed with AS (diagnosed after our marriage).